


I Guess I Just Don't Know Who I Am

by ThunderstormAtMidnight



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Non-Binary Mabel, Non-binary character, Other, Trans Boy Dipper Pines, Trans Male Character, Trans! Dipper, Trans! Mabel, gender crisis, identity crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 01:10:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14344812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderstormAtMidnight/pseuds/ThunderstormAtMidnight
Summary: Mabel can't seem to find a label that fits, despite her best efforts. Luckily, Dipper has some comfort to offer.(To clarify: This is not a ship fic!!!)





	I Guess I Just Don't Know Who I Am

**Author's Note:**

> As a warning(???), Mabel uses she/her throughout this fic

Mabel stared at herself in the mirror. She didn’t know what to do, when she felt so strange and wrong all the time. She brushed her curly hair back from her face, feeling her eyes burn with tears. She thought that she’d had it all right, because it had felt right to her for so long and she’d been happy. But now something just felt really wrong, and Mabel had no idea what to do about it.  
She wished she could just be happy with her gender, like Dipper was. Her brother had been out as a trans man for more than eight years now, and he’d started on hormones in the last month. He was even booking a date for his top surgery! Mabel thought he must have it easy like that- god, she wished she could just be that confident in her own gender.  
Like her brother, she’d thought she was a trans boy for awhile. As with every other gender identity she’d gone through, she’d been really happy with it at first. Picking out a name she liked, dressing masculinely, the new pronouns- everything had felt perfect at first. Mabel thought it would last, and it did for awhile- but like with every identity she’d tried so far, it eventually stopped feeling right.  
Next, Mabel had tried out the label of non-binary. This had felt even more right, even though using ‘they’ as a pronoun felt a bit weird at first. But this identity lasted even shorter than the trans man label, and now she just wasn’t sure what to think. At first, Mabel didn’t even think that it was the label that was wrong- she thought it was just how she was dressing. So she tried dressing neutrally for some time, letting herself relax in some looser clothing, but it left her just feeling sort of detached and empty.  
That was how she was feeling all the time now, and she had no idea what to about it. Mabel had tears running down her cheeks now. Why did none of the labels feel right for more than a couple months? She felt like it shouldn’t be such a big deal to her, but it was. She couldn’t stop thinking about it.  
Mabel angrily brushed the tears from her cheeks, slamming her hand down on the bathroom counter. She made a noise of disgust at herself as pain radiated through her hand, and she sunk to her knees so she wouldn’t have to look in the mirror anymore.  
The bathroom door creaked, and Mabel jumped slightly as Dipper walked in. His dark eyes were concerned, but his movements were a little tentative as he peered around the door.  
“Uh, hey,” Dipper said softly, stepping into the carpeted bathroom.  
“Hey, bro,” Mabel responded miserably, trying to scrub the tear tracts off her face.  
“What’s up?”  
Mabel shrugged, staring at the ground. Dipper crouched in front of her but didn’t say anything. A couple seconds went by and Mabel eventually started speaking. It was hard not for her to open up to her brother.  
“It’s just- you always seemed so confident with . . . you know, with who you are. It’s like you always knew, and you’re just so happy living like you are-”  
Mabel looked up quickly, worry in her eyes.  
“I mean! Of course I want you to be happy!”  
Dipper shook his head slightly.  
“Don’t worry, I get what you mean,” he smiled a little, tapping his forehead. “Twin telepathy.”  
Mabel laughed softly.  
“Yeah . . . I guess I’m just jealous. I don’t know who I am.”  
“Aw, Mabel . . . It hasn’t always been easy for me, either. I mean, I knew I was a boy pretty young, but it took me a long time to come to terms with it. I guess it seems easier for me because I’ve been doing this whole thing for so long.”  
Mabel nodded, sniffling. She could finally feel the tears in her eyes starting to subside.  
“You’ll get it eventually. It might take a few months, or a few years. Either way, you’ll get there. And I’ll be there with you the whole time.”  
Half-standing from the bathroom floor, Mabel leaned forward to give Dipper a hug.  
“Thanks, bro-bro.”  
“No problem.”

**Author's Note:**

> I mostly wrote this to help myself with stuff that I'm going through right now, but I hope y'all like it anyway. If I write more Gravity Falls stuff, I might make this into a whole book


End file.
